Sunday, March 1, 2009

Why do we continue to inflict pain upon ourselves & ignore the RED FLAGS!

This past weekend I spoke to at least three people who continue to inflict pain upon themselves. Why you ask? Well that’s a good damn question!


Situation # 1 - There is a girl who has this "best friend" for about 12 years. They go through their quarrels every now and then like any normal friendship. Until recently, the girl thought this girl was her bestest. Every time she goes out of course she invites her, however when the best friend goes out, she fails to invite the girl on most occasions (RED FLAG #1). When the girl and best friend do hang out, the best friend finds ways to embarrass her - wtf?(RED FLAG # 2)  The girl goes out of her way to be there for her best friend, however the best friend is never really there for the girl when she needs her (RED FLAG # 3). The best friend disappears when she's busy and conveniently appears when she's not (RED FLAG # 4). 

This is exactly what I told girl - Personally, I rather not have any friends than have fillers! Sorry to break it to you hun but your bestest of 12 years is merely a filler (people who are in your life for no fuckin apparent reason except for convenience). Those can only treat you like shit if you allow them to! Drop the broad and keep it pushin' - even if shes a childhood friend! People change, we grow apart... we are not meant to be friends with everyone forever!


Situation # 2 - There is a girl who has been in an emotional, physical, and mentally abused relationship. 7 years ago Girl meets Dude. Dude games Girl up and sells her the world. 1 year goes by and Girl notices Dude is not really what he claims to be (RED FLAG #1). Girl continues to pursue the relationship. 2 years go by and Girl starts to be mentally abused by dude (RED FLAG #2). Girl continues to stay in the relationship hoping he will change. 3 years go by and Girl starts to be physically abused (RED FLAG #3). 4 years go by and Girl gets pregnant. Dude swears up and down he will do right by her and the baby and convinces her to go through with the pregnancy. Girl does and welcomes a beautiful baby into their fucked up environment hoping the baby will really change things. 5 years go buy and Girl is now raising her baby on her own while Dude is never home (RED FLAG # 4). 6 years go by shit has gotten worse than each year before. When Dude does finally come home, Girl and Dude scream and fight about his whereabouts. 7 years go by and the baby now sees his father disrespect his mom daily (RED FLAG #5). Girl is still crying over the same situation that she has been in for the past 7 years regardless of all the red flags.

For the past 6 years (I have finally given up) I have tried my very best to help, be there for her and do just about anything to aid her out of the situation. I can’t continue to watch her ruin her and her sons’ life. He did not ask to be brought into this world but yet is forced to deal with this fucked up life they dealt him. I truly hate Dude. He is a horrible person and a terrible father. If ever given the chance, I would put hands on dude. I told her – to be perfectly honest, I don’t blame dude anymore. I hate him but I don’t blame him. You’re the victim because you choose to be. You’re the one who continues to go back again and again after all the pain and suffering. As long as he knows he can…he will!


Situation # 3 – Boy meets girl while still in another relationship. Boy likes new Girl because she is so different than his girlfriend. Boy decides to break off the relationship with girlfriend to pursue new girl. Boy and Girl start dating. Boy falls hard for girl (when you have been in bad relationships, anything better seems like gold). Boy starts making bank at work. So does Girl. Boy and Girl decide to move in together after a short period of dating. Boy and Girl are living the lavish life happily together. Shit happens and Boy looses his job. More shit happens and Boy is in some situations. Girl starts to act very different (RED FLAG #1). Girl starts flaking on boy and going out more (RED FLAG #2). Boy continues to pursue the relationship because Boy loves Girl. Boy really needs girl to be there for him and Girl doesn’t seem to care (RED FLAG #3). Girl continues to demand going shopping, going out, lavish dinners, etc. Boy cannot afford it nor is it his personality to begin with. Once in a while is cool but its not a must. Girl disagrees. Girl complains that Boy does not love her and can care less about her. Boy continues to jump through flaming hoops. Girl breaks up and makes up with Boy several times (RED FLAG #4). Boy thinks something’s wrong with him and he’s not doing enough – WTF? Boy is not truly happy but does love her so he continues his relationship with her...

First of all let me start off by saying Boy is an attractive & intelligent young man who has a lot to offer to a woman. This broad is just crazy! I constantly tell Boy he deserves much better. He can only be truly happy with someone else when he is genuinely happy with himself first. I don’t think Girl truly loves him, but I guess sometimes you have to learn the hard way – I know I have!

Why do we continue to turn our heads the other way when the RED FLAGS appear... but be the first to ask why me when shit goes wrong?



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