Saturday, April 10, 2010

Real Talk: Are Women the New Men in Relationships?

There seems to be a shift in the universe lately which has made me notice a couple of things. I find that in todays society, Women seem to be taking on a different role in relationships then they did in the past. With women becoming more and more independent, I see a trend forming where they don't want nor feel the need to settle down or commit to one man. Getting married & having children are now not the epitome of a woman. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many of women who are out there that are very much looking to settle down, but overall I see a shift in how women view relationships, commitment, & monogamy. It has definitely moved down the list of priorities to say the least...

It has been known to man that most men have some form of commitment phobia. But interesting enough, it seems as though the tables have turned in some fashion. I see more & more men wanting to settle down & commit while the women are saying NO THANK YOU. When a man wants to settle down, & commit, they are now being viewed as clingy, sensitive, and become less appeasing. These independent women don't want to be bothered with men who are clingy & sensitive so they pass it up and move on to the next.  

When did this happen? When did a man who simply likes you and chooses not to be with other women,  & wants to commit to a relationship become clingy & sensitive?

When you ask? I think when women realized that you don't need a man to be fulfilled. When women realized that most men cheat & lie, so why put yourself out there to get hurt. Why limit yourself to just one man when you can date several and not be so emotionally attached to just one who can potentially hurt you. I also think being that women are so independent now, that their careers, friends, & life are being put ahead of men & relationships in general. Something that was once on the front line has now been placed on the back burner. Women are accepting that they may not ever get married, or have children, and they're okay with that.

Is there a down side to this possible trend? Perhaps. It could go either way really... These women who pass up on these great guys may not get that opportunity again when and if they are ready. Or, if you look at it from the other spectrum, the men who finally want to commit and when they open themselves up to and get shut down might revert to their old ways indefinitely...which makes it difficult for the next woman who comes along, who then leaves a bad taste in her mouth, thus creating a vicious cycle.

Personally, I am a very independent woman who has a very demanding career. I am also involved in a serious relationship & have been for the past 7 years. There have been many times that I've struggled with balancing out the two, but in the end when you care about something enough, you put forth everything you have to keep it. 

My advice: Not all guys are the same, as the same with women. If a person comes a long that is a great catch who wants to seriously pursue you, & your honestly ready, take a leap of faith & give it a chance.  There are no guarantees in life, it can always go either way... but you will never know if you always have your guard up. Don't let past relationships determine future relationships. You can still be independent and be in a relationship, you just have to communicate your needs & wants & learn to balance out the two.

What's your thoughts on this?


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