Showing posts with label Men Vs. Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men Vs. Women. Show all posts

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Real Talk: Are Women the New Men in Relationships?



There seems to be a shift in the universe lately which has made me notice a couple of things. I find that in todays society, Women seem to be taking on a different role in relationships then they did in the past. With women becoming more and more independent, I see a trend forming where they don't want nor feel the need to settle down or commit to one man. Getting married & having children are now not the epitome of a woman. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many of women who are out there that are very much looking to settle down, but overall I see a shift in how women view relationships, commitment, & monogamy. It has definitely moved down the list of priorities to say the least...

It has been known to man that most men have some form of commitment phobia. But interesting enough, it seems as though the tables have turned in some fashion. I see more & more men wanting to settle down & commit while the women are saying NO THANK YOU. When a man wants to settle down, & commit, they are now being viewed as clingy, sensitive, and become less appeasing. These independent women don't want to be bothered with men who are clingy & sensitive so they pass it up and move on to the next.  


When did this happen? When did a man who simply likes you and chooses not to be with other women,  & wants to commit to a relationship become clingy & sensitive?

When you ask? I think when women realized that you don't need a man to be fulfilled. When women realized that most men cheat & lie, so why put yourself out there to get hurt. Why limit yourself to just one man when you can date several and not be so emotionally attached to just one who can potentially hurt you. I also think being that women are so independent now, that their careers, friends, & life are being put ahead of men & relationships in general. Something that was once on the front line has now been placed on the back burner. Women are accepting that they may not ever get married, or have children, and they're okay with that.

Is there a down side to this possible trend? Perhaps. It could go either way really... These women who pass up on these great guys may not get that opportunity again when and if they are ready. Or, if you look at it from the other spectrum, the men who finally want to commit and when they open themselves up to and get shut down might revert to their old ways indefinitely...which makes it difficult for the next woman who comes along, who then leaves a bad taste in her mouth, thus creating a vicious cycle.

Personally, I am a very independent woman who has a very demanding career. I am also involved in a serious relationship & have been for the past 7 years. There have been many times that I've struggled with balancing out the two, but in the end when you care about something enough, you put forth everything you have to keep it. 

My advice: Not all guys are the same, as the same with women. If a person comes a long that is a great catch who wants to seriously pursue you, & your honestly ready, take a leap of faith & give it a chance.  There are no guarantees in life, it can always go either way... but you will never know if you always have your guard up. Don't let past relationships determine future relationships. You can still be independent and be in a relationship, you just have to communicate your needs & wants & learn to balance out the two.


What's your thoughts on this?


xoxo,


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Men Vs. Women: Language Barrier!


The other night I was having quite the interesting conversation with 
my guy friend and boyfriend about men and women. A rather popular 
topic indeed, but almost always ends in confusion. 

What I realized from this conversation, which I have known for quite 
some time, is that women speak a language men can't seem to 
comprehend.

For instance, my friend was telling me about a text he received from a
girl he was dating. Apparently, he took the message out of context 
which I believe is one of the biggest problems when it comes to 
men & women.

The messages go a little something like this....

Her: Hi, how are you?

Him: Hi, I'm good just have so much to do still before work. I still need to run some errands before I leave to vegas this weekend.

Her: do you work today?

Him: yes

Her: what time?

Him: 3

Her: you still have time take your shirt in the car

Him: Huh???

Here is where the language barrier kicks in. Most women including myself seem to speak in code, and that code being incomplete sentencesAs incomplete as it sounds, we still expect most to understand us. Funny thing is, when we speak incomplete sentences with other women they understand just fine. Thus creating the ongoing problem. Maybe it's because most men DO NOT pay attention to the whole conversation as they tend to tune us in and out as they please...then wonder why they are confused in the end. The combination of both leads us to a language barrier!

My friend and his girl already have some communication issues as she tends to be hot and cold and doesn't like to express her emotions...

His interpretation of that text: Obviously she was texting with someone else and she sent it to me on accident because that just made no damn sense. Maybe it was some other dude she's talking too...

I then preceded to ask him what time she sent that text at,  and he replied 9am. I then said "ummm, I don't think she was texting someone else, she was texting you retard!" LOL

My interpretation of that text: basically she was saying that you still have time to run some errands being that its 9am then and you don't go to work until 3pm. Take your uniform in the car with you and just change on your way to work so you can get your shit done in time. 

He was like "ohhhhh", with a very confused/smile on his face. "that might very well be what she meant, but how the fuck am I supposed understand all that with that text message."

Now all my ladies who are reading this might be like "DUHHHHH!!!" but men seriously don't understand our language or incomplete sentences rather.  What she should have wrote was "you still have time to run your errands just get ready before, take your work shirt with you in the car, and change on your way to work once your done running your errands." Thats a lot to say in a text message right? YEP! Which is why I believe text messaging could be a gift but also a curse to dating!

When you communicate via text messaging versus a phone conversation, you can't decipher the tone, or emotion behind the words of text message as you would with a phone conversation or better yet, face to face.

This is seriously just one of the billions of examples that occur on a daily base between men & women. The sad thing is a lot of unnecessary problems occur from harmless conversations....

My advice to men: pay attention, and to women: speak in complete sentences, and to all: less text more phone and or face to face ;) 


I'm curious to know how others view this situation so all comments are welcome!!


xoxo,