Ahhhh...

As I was waiting for the last hour of work to roll on by, I decided to read up on some of my past posts. It's been more than a while since I've given any attention to this blog and it was long overdue. Interesting enough, I found a couple of posts where I was truly at a crossroads in my life. Reading the thoughts that I once felt took me back to that time when I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its wonderful to use writing as a way to document your journeys in life, and in return it allows you to go back and see the real growth of ones existence.

Almost a year later, I can say I am in such a great place. All of those trials I went thru last year did in fact happen for a reason. At that point, all I could see was the pain and agony of what I was going thru but in reality it set me up for where I am at today. Had I not experienced all those things, I probably would be stuck in that 8 year relationship still holding on by a thread. As much as I will always love my ex, he and I were not meant to be together, forever. We were kids, who grew up together, and in turn, held on to the memories along the way. We were scared to venture off to others, and when we did, we always ran back to each other. After a few infidelities, I finally smartened up and realized that this would be my life if I didn't make a permanent change. It took a lot of courage and tears to finally leave, but I did. I took the time to figure out what I wanted, let alone needed. I found myself, and am still very much on that journey.

I am now embarking on a new relationship with a man who is equal to me. If anything, he motivates me to be a better woman and I can honestly say he completes me. I am trying my hardest not to allow my past relationship effect my new relationship as there are in fact two different men. Am I tainted? Yes. I was lied to and cheated on more than once and I now have a hard time trusting anyone. Will I let that get in the way? Absolutely not. It would be the biggest mistake of my life if I were to allow the fear of getting hurt keep me from falling in love. This man is wonderful in so many ways and has truly showed me what a partnership is really about. The funny thing is that it is still the beginning, so there is still so much more to come...if I allow it.

Actually this past week was a big one for me. I made some significant changes in my life that will allow more love and opportunities to flow thru and I couldn't be happier. After a long time, I am finally excited about my future. I now think about marriage, kids, the whole nine...where as before...It just was not even a thought. There is still so much to be revealed as I grow into the woman that I am destined to be and I am doing it all with no regrets, or hesitance!

xoxo,

T

Love is a bitch I prefer not to fuck with...

It's been at least fifteen days since I've heard anything from you. I've tried to be patient and give you the benefit of the doubt. I guess not hearing back from you after this long should have given me a clue long ago. Even still, I refuse to think I am naive and instead believe in what you told me. You told me a lot, and I believed it. I still do in some way. I would like to think that a good part of who I am still believes in people, hoping to see the best of ones self. I saw that in you. I guess I wanted to believe you were different because I could see thru that harsh exterior you portray, except I'm not sure which one is the real you...
I was hoping that you would appear, eventually. I wanted to believe what we had was real and it could blossom into something amazing. That one day, in the future, you and I could have a future together. You told me you wanted more than just a friendship with me and I did too. Who really knows if that was ever a possibility, but the moments I shared with you allowed me to believe so. I know that we have both changed from what we once were, and life is much more complicated than we can imagine, but no matter how much I try to deny what I feel, It's real. It's realer than anything else I've ever known. Instead of denying it, I have accepted it for what it is. It was comforting and amazing. It was beautiful and I would much rather remember you like that then this...

I've finally came to the conclusion after much thought that everything happens for a reason. I mean I've always known that but the stubborn side of me wanted you and I didn't want to let you go. I can't wish something into existence if it's simply not meant to be and I certainly can't convince you to feel something you clearly do not. Just like you told me you can't convince me to be with you, or to let go of my past to move on to you, my possible future, I had to realize that on my own... and I did. You were the one that I wanted to build something with and thrive off of each others success. I'm not sure if it was too late by the time I figured it all out or not good timing but it's all pointless now. I may not know exactly what the reason of you coming back into my life was but I did learn what I want, and what I don't want. Thank you  for coming back into my life once again to show me this. To open me up to something that I yearn for one day. I had a connection with you that I hope I will have with my future partner. I'm not sure if you have read any of the letters that I have sent you, but they are the rawest form of my emotions. I have never been so open with my thoughts to another but it allowed me to express how I really felt. I don't regret not one word that I have wrote, spoke or felt. It's real and I felt them for a reason. Maybe all these emotions pushed you farther away. Maybe I should have pretended not to care and maybe you would be here. Either way, that wasn't how I really felt and I can't be fake. It's just not me. As much as I am affected from this short chapter in my life, I will never forget it or you. In the end, I know I tried. I know that after everything, no matter how hurt I felt, I reached out and put all my ego aside and laid my true feelings on the table. It was hard, but I did it. If nothing else, I tried to hold you down and love you.

No matter what, we have been friends for years, and I will never let that go. You will always hold something special in my heart. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and I wish nothing but the best for you and yours.

No clue what the lesson was here, but I suppose I will figure it out sooner than later.

Real Talk: L.O.V.E.

There is only one happiness in life -- to love and to be loved.

We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight live coiled in shells of loneliness until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life. Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies old memories of pleasure ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls. We are weaned from our timidity In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free.  Maya Angelou

love is a beautiful thing indeed,

Men Vs. Women: Language Barrier!

The other night I was having quite the interesting conversation with 

my guy friend and boyfriend about men and women. A rather popular 

topic indeed, but almost always ends in confusion. 

What I realized from this conversation, which I have known for quite 

some time, is that women speak a language men can't seem to 

comprehend.

For instance, my friend was telling me about a text he received from a

girl he was dating. Apparently, he took the message out of context 

which I believe is one of the biggest problems when it comes to 

men & women.

The messages go a little something like this....

Her: Hi, how are you?

Him: Hi, I'm good just have so much to do still before work. I still need to run some errands before I leave to vegas this weekend.

Her: do you work today?

Him: yes

Her: what time?

Him: 3

Her: you still have time take your shirt in the car

Him: Huh???

Here is where the language barrier kicks in. Most women including myself seem to speak in code, and that code being incomplete sentences. As incomplete as it sounds, we still expect most to understand us. Funny thing is, when we speak incomplete sentences with other women they understand just fine. Thus creating the ongoing problem. Maybe it's because most men DO NOT pay attention to the whole conversation as they tend to tune us in and out as they please...then wonder why they are confused in the end. The combination of both leads us to a language barrier!

My friend and his girl already have some communication issues as she tends to be hot and cold and doesn't like to express her emotions...

His interpretation of that text: Obviously she was texting with someone else and she sent it to me on accident because that just made no damn sense. Maybe it was some other dude she's talking too...

I then preceded to ask him what time she sent that text at,  and he replied 9am. I then said "ummm, I don't think she was texting someone else, she was texting you retard!" LOL

My interpretation of that text: basically she was saying that you still have time to run some errands being that its 9am then and you don't go to work until 3pm. Take your uniform in the car with you and just change on your way to work so you can get your shit done in time. 

He was like "ohhhhh", with a very confused/smile on his face. "that might very well be what she meant, but how the fuck am I supposed understand all that with that text message."

Now all my ladies who are reading this might be like "DUHHHHH!!!" but men seriously don't understand our language or incomplete sentences rather.  What she should have wrote was "you still have time to run your errands just get ready before, take your work shirt with you in the car, and change on your way to work once your done running your errands." Thats a lot to say in a text message right? YEP! Which is why I believe text messaging could be a gift but also a curse to dating!

When you communicate via text messaging versus a phone conversation, you can't decipher the tone, or emotion behind the words of text message as you would with a phone conversation or better yet, face to face.

This is seriously just one of the billions of examples that occur on a daily base between men & women. The sad thing is a lot of unnecessary problems occur from harmless conversations....

My advice to men: pay attention, and to women: speak in complete sentences, and to all: less text more phone and or face to face ;) 

I'm curious to know how others view this situation so all comments are welcome!!

xoxo,

Real Talk: Life & Love go Hand in Hand!

You have the ability to love. And from that ability comes every ability. Love can transform your most painful burden into your richest blessing. Stop fighting against what is and begin to love what you know you can be. Live in love, and you live with power. Live in love, and enable the best within you to know full expression. Love keeps you focused on what truly matters. Love keeps you going against all odds. Let go of worry, anxiety, anger and frustration, and love is there. It shines more brightly than ever. Live in love. And you live in full.

-- Ralph Marston

xoxo,

Miss Me, Miss Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me!

Via - ffffound

Art that speaks for itself!

xoxo,

Garment Vault

This is Dedicated to you!

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my Angel Mother."

- Abraham Lincoln

Happy Mothers Day Mom! I am so lucky to have a woman like you as my mother, and I love you more than words can ever express.

xoxo,

T

Pure Hotness...

NO COMMENT ;)

xoxo,

T

6 Years and Counting...

I recently just celebrated my 6 year anniversary with my sweet pea! I can't believe its been 6 years already! I remember when we first met (at my younger cousins b-day party), who would have thought we would still be together - not I...not even him for that matter! We have definitely had our fare share of ups and downs... but luckily we were able to push through them. Oh how I love thee - this ones for you boo!


Sun Bathing at the Beach - he's not the one who needs it really...punk stays callin me yellow ;)

My boo stays spoilin' me - I'm one of the lucky ones to have a man like him in my life!

He made me this cake just because and surprised me with it in the morning...he's too sweet!



I love you J!

Here's to many more happy, healthy, & wealthy years to come...

xoxo,

T