So last night I had a rather long yet interesting conversation with a friend of mine about guys. Yes, it seems to be the topic of conversation for most if not all of us at some point in the day - ha! She has been single for awhile now and is not necessarily looking for a guy but wouldn't mind having someone special in her life. I asked her about the night life scene being that Its been forever since I last went out. She went on to tell me that she indeed meets guys but ends up not really proceeding further because either they
a) aren't her type,
b) don't have that swagger - which is much needed fellas or
c) aren't about anything but partyin',bulshitin,' & sex.
Which led us to her next question. Where do I meet a respectable, attractive, & intelligent guy at? It just so happens that J had came into the room while i was on the phone and decided to join in on the conversation - lol. So being that he is a respectable, attractive, & intelligent guy, we asked him. He said the grocery store! He also said that he had read an article in a magazine at work stating that Barnes and Nobles was one of the top 5 places to meet a guy. So we began to converse about what's really the likely hood of a girl actually meeting a guy at the grocery store and or Barnes and Noble. Interesting enough, I seem to be one of the only few girls in my group that would actually go up to a guy at the grocery market or Barnes and Nobles. My friend went on to say that If there was in-fact a guy she saw at either of those two places, it would be nearly impossible for her to just go up to him and start talking to him. My immediate reaction is why? Why the hell not?
I think i have an idea why not, or at least this is my take on it. Girls think WAAAYYYY tooo much about EV-ERY- THANG. EV-ERY- THANG? YES EV-ERY-THANG! (lol @ Kat Williams) Girls also have the tendency to care too much or be worried about what others, especially guys may think. The combination of these two can be your own worst enemy - without you even knowing it!
My friend, who is a very attractive, smart, has many things going for herself type of female would ultimately be too afraid to just go up and say hello to a guy at the market or book store because she would potentially fear the possibility of rejection. What if he doesn't like me is probably the first question a girl might ask herself - my answer to this is... your not going to be every ones type, but you also are not going to know unless you try right? What if I come off looking stupid or lame would probably be the second question. Well you are not going to come off lame or stupid if you don't give a flying fuck to begin with. (Yup that's my motto and I'm sticking to it damnit!)
This is where my Act like a lady yet think like a man theory comes in. Guys can literally care less ( for the most part) of what people or girls think about them. That's why some of the fellas come with those lame ass lines, because they are willing to try anything just to see if there's a slight possibility - all while not giving a damn about whether we think they are losers. Hey you never know, there just might be one girl out there that might like the corny lines and go for it which is why you just need to go for it - you really never know unless you do. Back in my single days -lol... and actually even till this day, I truly can care less what others think of me. Girls, guys, you name it. If you don't like it then keep it pushin' because I'm going to continue to do me regardless!
I look at it like this. I'm never going to know unless I try, and I will be the only one who holds myself back if I care too much of what others may think of me instead of just doing it and not holding back . Go up to the guy if your feeling him! Don't sit back and wait until the guy comes to you because the girl next to you might just go up to him and he will end up forgetting about you. I also have to say that when you do go out - pay close attention to the ratio of pretty girls versus good looking guys. It's definitely not in our favor ladies so step your game up! There are way more girls than there are guys...
This lead us into our next hour of laughing & conversing - lol. So my friend basically went on to say that she did meet a guy that she has been texting back and forth for a week now. She thinks shes sorta feelin him' - at least enough to hang out with him at this point. They both had discussed briefly through texting of course that they should meet up soon. So I had asked her if they are going to hang out and her response was, if he hits me up and asks me. My immediate reaction is why do the guys have to be the first one to make the moves. With her it usually is. So I get on her because of it. I'm not saying that the female has to always make the first move but, If I personally was feelin the guy, I wouldn't wait until he hits me up. Why waist time with the back and forth nonsense. If I was trying to chill with him I would hit him up. If he wants to chill - cool. If not, then keep it pushin to the next- which I personally never had a probably doing. Like I said, you're not going to be every ones type but I think being confident and going after what you want, when you want it, produces the results you want ultimately. I told her to just call him and she was like " NO WAY" he can call me! To me that's lame. Stop the texting bullshit, pick up the damn phone and make the call dammit. Hey you never know, you just might end up hanging out with him and having the time of your life because
a) you made the phone call &
b) more than likely he thinks it's hella sexy for a girl to be confident, assertive, and going after what she wants without any qualms!
Always act like a lady yet think like a man! Just some tips - take what you want and leave the rest...
Always be two steps a head of the game
Never take things to seriously...at the end of the day hes just a guy that quickly came into your life and can exit even quicker. Just have fun...don't worry if hes not the man your going to marry!
Date more than one guy - this usually ensures that you won't get a hung up on one guy being that you have a few on the roster ;)
Don't trip if your not the only female in his life...keep it fun and adventurous -unless your exclusive then beat his ass! lol
Keep it real. If your feelin' him let him know, if your not don't lead him on to spare his feelings. Guys aren't mind readers. Saying your washing your hair and you don't feel like going out isn't going to stop them from being a bugaboo...telling him that you are not feelin' him like that will!
Don't think about EV-ERY-THANG... take each day, date, phone call, text etc. at a time, stop over analyzing everything he says and does & do you!
What's really hilarious was while I was having this 3 hour conversation, J was beside me laughing...saying..."Damn Baby I taught you well" - LMAO I replied, " SHITTTT...you didn't teach me anything...I have been acting like a lady and thinking like a man loooongg before you came into the picture...how do you think I gotchu boo? lol
xoxo,
T
